Photo courtesy of: Facebook.com/TheGoodNews
There are days when we feel like we’re too much in control of our lives that the only factors affecting it is ourselves. This manifested 2 weeks ago when I posted about my confusion on things about my future. I want to do so many things. I want to teach kids, write children’s books, become a news reporter, film scorer, produce educational programs, go on mission trips, take a Master’s degree, and lots more. A lot of things in plan, a lot of things for the future. And if I think of it in a limited world kind of way, there’s no possibility that I’ll be able to do all of those with just one degree in college. And there’s also a possibility that I won’t be able to do all of them in my lifetime. So it made me split them into choices. I asked the opinion of my friends on what choice I should take. Their answers were thought provoking. Here’s a screen cap:
I was planning all those things for the future with the air of confidence that it’s only up to me. It’s only up to what I decide. In those moments, I was the boss. It was all about me and my choices. Prayers became “let my will be done” instead of “let Your will be done.” I was trusting solely on myself.
But then, Friday came. The night before I slept late as usual. I had all planned out for the day. I’ll go to my 8:30 class, eat, go to class, then go home. All was planned, no need to worry. I just had to wake up on time and everything will fall into place. However, that morning, I did not wake up on time. Instead, I woke up at 8:30 am, the start of my class. Inside my head was a big exclamation point (!). That class was a major class, 6 units. And to top it off, it’s a production class. We must always be on tie or suffer the repercussions. Yikes. Though my initial instinct was to panic, there was this still small voice at the back of my mind that said, “just trust God; there is nothing He cannot do.” With that in mind, I grabbed my towel, bathed, dressed up and within 20 minutes, I was out the door of our house.
On my way to campus, I was sending my classmates text messages, asking if our professor was already there. If she was, I’d not attend class and instead stay at our college’s library. But that meeting was crucial because our professor was going to comment on the drama scripts we wrote for our final project. So I had to make it, or else I’ll miss a lot. All of a sudden, my classmates stopped replying to my messages. It was not allowed for us to use our cellphones in class. They should be either turned off or put into silent mode. I thought our professor was there. I sent a text message asking if I’m dead and if I’d still make it. About 5 replied. Yes, our professor’s not yet there! Better, she’ll be arriving at 9:30. At 9:00, I was already near the campus gate. And all I said was, ”Thank you, Lord!”
After lunch, thing’s went okay. Then my last class came. It was another major class, Political Economy of Media. That week, us students were supposed to present the mini thesis papers we were doing. It was scheduled on that day that three were to present. We were the third and we were unprepared. Why? The previous meeting, someone called for a showing of hands on whose next to present. A pair said that they would be the third. So me and my partner thought we were to present next week. It was only that time we were informed of the mishap. Our first solution was to ask our classmates who among the other pairs were prepared to present, no one. All we had left was pray and wait for something to happen.
Anxious and jittery is how we felt. When the 2nd presenters were finished, I was readying an alibi. We only had 15 minutes left before the end of the class. Sometimes our class extends the time when it is needed. Just in case our professor decides to extend, I already have a legitimate alibi – my partner carpools and there are 3 students relying on her. But then, our professor said that we’ll continue next meeting because she has a meeting at 5:30. And then we will not be the first reporters because she wants another pair to present first. My classmates looked at me and smiled. They knew that I was blessed. I trusted the Lord.
That day was a day when my whole world spun out of control. It was bizarre! The whole day I had no idea what to do… except trust God.
That day I learned, rather I was reminded that it’s not always up to me. That was just a single day that went haywire. What if it was a year? A decade? My whole lifetime? God is always in control. All I had to do was to trust in Him wholeheartedly. Everything will be okay, even if I don’t know what to do. This applies to my earlier conflict with what I should do after finishing my BA degree in Broadcast Communication. God wants me to know that it’s up to Him. No matter what I want, it’s still up to Him. He is in control.
Lesson: Let go and let God. Let God take over your life. You might not entirely know where you’re going, but it doesn’t matter as long as God is leading. If we truly love God, we’ll trust Him. If we truly love Him and have faith in Him, we’ll surrender everything – our futures the most. Our ultimate future is to be with Him anyways. The immediate future is how we get there.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” Proverbs 3:5-6 (New Living Translation)